Do you ever wonder if perfectionist traits are tied to a personality type? If so, what are the flaws, and how can you pivot for the trait?
Well, I have been there. And I didn’t know it was a problem until I became and adult.
It started from a young age of trying to keep straight A in grade school. It followed me in my adult life as I tried to the best mom, best wife, best coworker, and best me.
I didn’t know until my blogging journey is trying to be perfect often keeps me from moving forward or at least NOTICING growth. I would say things like, ” I will post my blog as soon as it’s finished,” but in reality, it was never finished to me; there was always something that needed to be done. Always More.
I learn to push through and hit the publish button BEFORE I was ready. Otherwise, I would continue looking for typos in my post and sentence fragments, which paralyzed me. I had to move forward and suck it up.
The examples I share throughout my journey allowed me to move anyway and become a good mom, wife, and employee ( NOT PERFECT). And grow into a coach to help other moms become their authentic and ideal self. Creating a place of balance and focus.“Too many people spend too much time trying to perfect something before they actually do it. Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you go, and fix it along the way…” – Paul Arden #perfectionism #perfectionist… Click To Tweet
See, some of us want to grow, become a stronger, focused, and driven self, but then the little things get in the way that keeps us from moving up the later. Let’s jump into learning what perfectionist traits are and how to overcome perfectionist traits.
So My question for You is, Are you a Perfectionist?
Do you spend a lot of time trying to be great in every aspect of your life?
- Beauty? Focusing on looking young, fit, and well but together
- Success? You want to be recognized at work, have an advancement every year, and an ok evaluation is not GOOD ENOUGH.
- Smarts? You need to know everything and don’t like to be told your wrong
- Emotional Perfectionism? try to have emotional control of every situation
The problem with this is makes you quite hard on yourself and VERY critical of others.The perfection mindset is not creating a better you; it’s limiting your growth. Click To Tweet
Its gets in the way of your true happiness and blocking your manifestations.
Because as we know, NEGATIVE SELF TALK operates at a low vibration, which makes attracting positivity difficult.
Based on the Law of Attraction Theory, focusing on the Lack of you in return, STILL ATTRACT LACK!
What Causes Perfectionistic Traits?
According to Healthline.com, the cause of Perfectionism isn’t clear and straightforward. “It’s often a learned behavior. People with perfectionism believe that they’re valuable only because of what they achieve or what they do for other people.”( Healthline.com,2016).
Inside the Mind of a Perfectionist— Is this you?
There are no shades GRAY, only black and white
You are either doing everything RIGHT or everything WRONG. You will say things like I won’t start that blog or tackle my goal list because
- I am not finished researching
- I need more articles
- more authority
- more time
- because simply it’s not perfect yet!
Are you critical person who set unrealistic expectation?
Are you know for making unrealistic expectations, like completing 30 tasks on your to-do list. Giving yourself unattainable goals like this year, I will make an Extra x income or expecting yourself to maintain your home without help.
Focus on Failing
You focus on the thought of failing instead of the idea of winning.
I know this was a familiar place I was in. Instead of saying if I publish my first blog post, people will not like it, no one will read it, and it’s not easy, I won’t be able to keep people interested. Yes, I thought of everything that could go WRONG. I had to learn to push through the doubt, reinvent myself, and rewire my brain to think of the possibility, not the limitations.I thought of everything that could go WRONG. I had to learn to push through the doubt, reinvent myself, and rewire my brain to think of the possibility, not the limitations. Click To Tweet
Using the ‘Right Time’ as an Excuse
Time is the number 1 reason why people don’t start a new habit or complete new goals. But waiting for the ‘right time’ is a procrastination tactic.
Are you saying I can’t start because of timing? You tell yourself that you’re ALMOST there but still haven’t taken action. You are continually learning and consuming but not actually APPLYING anything. You believe or at least have convinced yourself the right time will come, and magically, you will have TIME, MONEY, and resources you need to move. No, boo, you are stuck and need to get your life together.
Can’t Handle the thought of Failing
Those with perfectionist traits believe they are not starting because it’s not perfect. But the truth is you can’t handle failure, so you will not put yourself out there.
So, understand even though you tell yourself it’s because you’re not finished, you need more research or a story about how next year will be different, really, you’re scared of failure and rejection. Way more common than you think, but it could be fixed!
Not Achieving Goals
Are you setting goals so high that you are not achieving them? Do you know why you’re not achieving the goals you set? Is it a form of self-sabotage?
Does this sound like you?
The goals on the vision board are so out of reach that you are not checking things off. You are putting goals for your future self ( 20 years from now) instead of attainable goals for your current self ( 1-3 years).
Then you are angry at yourself for not attaining the goals when really you KNEW the bar was set high.
How to Overcome Perfectionism?
This is a list, and I know if you take more work than looking at a list of solutions on a blog post. If you are ready to move forward and need to understand the root of what is holding you back, get on the mailing list for more support.
Ok let’s jump in.
When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.— Katherine Ponder
- Forgive yourself and others; we all have been wronged or wronged ourselves. Please take the time to heal.
- Focus on treating the cause (root problem), not just the symptom ( things you can control that don’t address the problem but also make you believe you’re fixing it).
- Believe and NOW, good things happen, and when it does, it’s OK- use Law of Attraction Quotes.
- Write positive affirmations to reprogram your beliefs.
- Know your core values and your self worth
- Embrace your imperfections- it’s what makes you….Unique
- Finally, shed the weight of living for others and set a goal for YOU.
- Practice Gratitude this helps you be grateful for everything you HAVE
- Find ways to relax, regroup, and re-energize yourself.
- Be present, and don’t forget the little moments of success.
- Define a realistic definition of success
How do I know if I’m a Perfectionist [Test]?
Still not sure if this is you. Then find out more by taking the Perfectionism Test at Psychologology.com
Final thought: Perfectionist Traits
Being a Perfectionist is not all bad. But understanding how it limits you from growth, success and happiness is powerful.
Don’t let your past dictate your future. There are many things you learned in the past that your realize is not conducive with your current self. Some behaviors and traits needs to be shed for the NEW powerful improved you.
Are you or have you been a perfectionist? Before blogging and going through a much-needed transformation, I was there with you. But, life is so much more fulfilling and simple on the other side. Come join me!
Click image to start reprogramming your thought & accomplish more today! >>